I was always a spiritual seeker. In my youth I was drawn to all things spiritual, religious, esoteric or philosophical – anything that spoke to the mystery of life. For a long time my interests were very eclectic, but in my teens I discovered the teachings of Buddhism and the concept of spiritual Enlightenment which became the focus of my search.
In my early twenties an intractable dilemma in my personal life triggered an profound awakening to the non-conceptual nature of the Truth and demonstrated the limitations of the intellectual pursuit of knowledge. In the wake of this I began what turned out to be a 20+ year practice of Transcendental Meditation and marked a period of intense spiritual growth.
Throughout these years I attended countless retreats and lived, worked, and studied at meditation centres and ashrams, essentially devoting my life to the pursuit of spiritual knowledge and experience. This was a spiritually fruitful time for me, bringing about ever-deepening understanding and insight about my essential nature and the nature of reality. Even so, I still experienced periods of depression and was afflicted by feelings of incompleteness.
Around 2006 I found myself being increasingly drawn to Advaita, Satsang and Self-inquiry which I felt were more direct approaches to Self knowledge. I was fortunate enough to find and recognise teachings and teachers such as Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Papaji, and many more who spoke to my intuitive understanding. With the help of contemporary awakened teachers such Adyashanti, Mooji, Pema Chödrön, Eckhart Tolle, Gangaji, Wayne Liquorman, and Ramaji, falsehoods fell away and I increasingly came to recognise the ubiquity of awareness in each and every moment.
But in early 2015 after decades of spiritual seeking and practice, I came to understand that despite it all I was powerless to bring about my own liberation. I found myself in a place of profound but unsatisfactory surrender.
At this time, after I received a RASA transmission from my final teacher Ramaji, my deepening intuitive understanding dawned as abiding recognition. Namely, that there is no doer and the spiritual seeker I took myself to be didn't actually exist as a separate being, and that I am awareness itself in which and from which all forms and phenomena arise. And so, the seeking ended along with the seeker.